How The Martin Family Has Been Quarantining
The 3 Phases Of Our COVID Experience - And Where We Go From Here
Hello friends
Ahoy from our corner of this quarantiney world!
I hope this email finds you safe and well.
Like most of you I’m sure, our family has been trying to slowly figure out how to manage and navigate the trying times and land on a temporary “new normal” until the world reverts back to somewhat of a permanent “new normal.”
I think we’ve stumbled upon some keys to living well in the midst of this madness, but if you’re anything like us, then your quarantine has seen it’s way through multiple phases:
THE “SLOTH” PHASE
The first week or two of our personal family shutdown looked like this:
A complete and total departure from any and all routines.
Staying up and sleeping in too late.
Becoming Tiger King experts.
“Supporting local” and ordering take out every evening.
Having special “Mom and Dad drinks” every day at happy hour.
Allowing the kids to have more “treats” than they would at a weekend at their Grandparents.
It didn’t take long for this phase to get old.
There was an initial pull to unplug and escape during the onset of the pandemic - but like a sugary piece of gum that has lost it’s flavor, “The Never-Ending Spring Break” mentality was getting old and had to be done away with before it did away with us.
Questions began to rear their head every moment.
Are we doing the right thing here? How much should we be enjoying the R & R?
Should we be sticking to the normal daily routines so as not to get “out of shape” as a family? Would a good, fun parent let their kids stay up and watch movies every night of the week or does that mean we’re melting our children’s brains and undoing years of discipline?
And what’s the right level of news intake? At what point in consuming every politicized headline the world has to offer do we hit a diminishing return that only results in the onset of additional anxiety.
THE “TIGGER” PHASE
Before long, those questions caused us to bounce back into what I’m affectionately referring to as The “Tigger” Phase.
We’ve been fortunate to have not faced the same challenges as many other families around the world so work and school persisted for us.
As the dust settled and classes kicked back into gear we tried our best to re-establish some form of routine that we could adopt for a while.
I setup a home office and the kiddos familiarized themselves with online learning.
Unfortunately, here in North Texas the dull, cold, gloomy & gray skies didn’t get the memo about our metroplex-wide lock downs.
We went to war with stir-craziness and our sloth like activities morphed into a family of Tiggers bounding off the walls - reigniting old projects, cleaning out the garage and perhaps arguing with each other a bit more.
THE “ALIVE-TIME” PHASE
Luckily, with some of our more critical rhythms and rituals easing back into place, we came to our senses and addressed some of the vices negatively impacting us early on.
We moved our TV out of our bedroom, and reverted back to moderating all screen time with a militaristic approach.
We replaced endless and anxiety-inducing news consumption with a new self imposed “one check-in per day limit.” We subsequently are now spending the same time and attention actually reading our physical books again.
We eat lunch together and go on family walks almost every day.
We pushed our support of local restaurants back to the weekend where they had been reserved before and returned to home cooked meals on weeknights.
We also quit eating randomly and disconnected from one another and got back to having “Family Meeting” style conversations around the dinner table every evening.
We identified fun adventures to do together that otherwise would probably never happen - such as creating & practicing family emergency evacuation plans, having water balloon fights, and slip n’ slide time. (which nearly destroyed a large section of our front yard.)
We’ve started drinking much less throughout the week, making our Home Gym workouts much more effective, and helping us sleep a lot better too.
All of these tweaks, however subtle they sound, have helped us carve out the time and space for the things we love most - spending time with one another and creating.
So now I’m back to writing.
Katie and the kids are daily crafting, building, painting, and chalking to their little hearts content.
And as Ryan Holiday encourages in The Daily Stoic, we’re looking to redeem all available time to us and make it alive with purpose and intention.
LOOKING FORWARD
Having found our stride and settled back in to a much healthier space, I can’t help but think to myself, perhaps is this is how we were supposed to be living all along.
A life where the pace of constant hurry has been ruthlessly eliminated, and a world where all non essential activities and modes of operating have been amputated.
It makes me wonder what this “new normal” really will look like as our world spins the light dimmer back on.
Do our children really need to be at school for 8 hours every day?
Right now they’re knocking out all of their curriculum with time to spare and are outside doing “kid things” for an extra 2-4 hours per day.
Do we really need to physically work away from our homes and commute to an office for 8-10 hours every day?
Some operations obviously can’t replaced by remote working, but how much time, money, resource and emotional bandwidth could be saved by a “new normal” of flexible remote working across industries?
We don’t live in an industrialized farming age anymore where factories and farms govern the rhythms of commerce. We live in an information age that rewards the individuals, companies and industries that work smarter and more efficiently while keeping the health and happiness of their people at the forefront.
How many extra-curricular activities do we really need to be involved in?
Is the return on investment worth the cost of the spiritual and emotional energy required to keep up?
Having our evenings freed up has not only been healthier inside of our home - it’s been a great thing for our neighborhood too.
The streets in and around us look like something out of a 1950’s sitcom with all of the people outside, walking around, waving at each other and “checking in” from a distance. It’s awesome.
How the world answers these questions and many others remains to be seen. But one thing is certain, the scriptures have been proven right again. “There really is nothing new under the sun.”
Whether it’s being trapped in a war-time environment or an anxiety-riddled world-wide pandemic, the ancient stoic philosophers would go on to remind us, though we can’t help the situation we’re in, we can certainly help what kind of response we offer up to it.
Our being trapped at home is not an excuse for killing time.
The choices we make in each moment help chart the course for what not only the rest of our lives will look like, but for how our loved ones will remember this time also.
We can view the obstacles in front of us as road blocks, or we can look at them as launching points to becoming better versions of ourselves, better companies, better societies and a better world.
The fact we’re all cooped up right now is not our fault, but what we do both while we are here and when we start coming out of it is on us.
How are you getting along during this time? What unique challenges are you experiencing?
In what areas are you simply killing time and where do you see opportunities to bring them some life?
P.S. - If you think someone else would benefit from this, please don’t hesitate to forward this email along.